Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Been Awhile

I realized that it's been quite awhile since the last time I posted, so I'll give kind of a whirlwind update and then I'll start blogging more consistently again.

The main reason that I haven't been blogging is that I've been sleeping. I've felt like Sleeping Beauty or like I've been in a coma for a month. It was so bizarre. It's a side effect of the duragesic. I mean, I was sleeping about 16 hours a day and it was like using superhuman strength to stay awake for longer than an hour or two at a time. I'd wake up to use the restroom or throw-up and then back to sleep I'd go.

So, I had an appointment with my pain management doctor, we'll call him Dr. R from now on, and he gave me another prescription for Provigil. This drug has a very interesting history. It was developed by the military for their special ops guys and the guys who would guard the base at night. It keeps you from sleeping and it works really well most of the time. I have to take it pretty early in the day, so that it doesn't keep me up all night. That's how well it works. It's also going to be used as a medication for ADD pretty soon. I've been given back my ADD diagnosis, since we found out that the bi-polar medication that I was given last year, by a psychiatrist who apparently thinks he can diagnose someone in 10 minutes, was depressing me to no end. I'm soooo much happier now that I'm coming off that med. It's like a big dark cloud is being lifted off me and I feel more normal again. I'm almost done titrating off of it and I'm sure it'll make a difference in my energy level too, I hope.

So, here's my new list of meds: Duragesic for the chronic pain; Dilaudid, Toradol injection, and Imitrex for rescue meds; phenergan and reglan for the nausea and vomiting (phenergan if I don't mind sleeping and reglan if I need to stay awake); zelnorm for the irritable bowel syndrome; aciphex for gastroesophogeal reflux disease; Provigil to stay awake and for ADD. I think that's it. I need a bigger medicine cabinet.

So, thanks for your patience. Hopefully, I didn't lose you, because I really have wanted to write, just couldn't because I've been too tired. I'll write a new one tomorrow. If you ever have questions about my meds, feel free to email me or post them here and I'll get back to you on that.


At 7:50 AM, Blogger khhhch said...

Hi, Jessica. Glad you're feeling awake (and well) enuf to write again. I know you must feel like you're taking loads of meds, but if you discount the ones for stomach problems, which anyone could get who didn't have wouldn't sound so bad. Glad your Dr. is working with you to find meds that will work and give you relief. My headache clinic has a Dr. who does botox injections in the neck when other treatments don't work--my neurologist said it's believed to paralyze the nerves sending the pain signals to the brain (as well as I can remember)--don't know if other meds are used also, but it might be something to google if you continue to have problems and stomach concerns. It only lasts about 3 months, tho. Hang in there--know it's hard to function with kids, too.
Kathy in TX

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I have read through one history
Each of you has your personal story; it is your history. Keeping a diary or writing your feelings in a special notebook is a wonderful way to learn how to think and write about who you are -- to develop your own identity and voice.

People of all ages are able to do this. Your own history is special because of your circumstances: your cultural, racial, religious or ethnic background. Your story is also part of human history, a part of the story of the dignity and worth of all human beings. By putting opinions and thoughts into words, you, too, can give voice to your inner self and strivings.

A long entry by Anne Frank on April 5, 1944, written after more than a year and a half of hiding from the Nazis, describes the range of emotions 14-year-old Anne is experiencing:

". . . but the moment I was alone I knew I was going to cry my eyes out. I slid to the floor in my nightgown and began by saying my prayers, very fervently. Then I drew my knees to my chest, lay my head on my arms and cried, all huddled up on the bare floor. A loud sob brought me back down to earth, and I choked back my tears, since I didn't want anyone next door to hear me . . .

"And now it's really over. I finally realized that I must do my school work to keep from being ignorant, to get on in life, to become a journalist, because that's what I want! I know I can write. A few of my stories are good, my descriptions of the Secret Annex are humorous, much of my diary is vivid and alive, but . . . it remains to be seen whether I really have talent . . .

"When I write I can shake off all my cares. My sorrow disappears, my spirits are revived! But, and that's a big question, will I ever be able to write something great, will I ever become a journalist or a writer? I hope so, oh, I hope so very much, because writing allows me to record everything, all my thoughts, ideals and fantasies.

"I haven't worked on Cady's Life for ages. In my mind I've worked out exactly what happens next, but the story doesn't seem to be coming along very well. I might never finish it, and it'll wind up in the wastepaper basket or the stove. That's a horrible thought, but then I say to myself, "At the age of 14 and with so little experience, you can't write about philosophy.' So onward and upward, with renewed spirits. It'll all work out, because I'm determined to write! Yours, Anne M. Frank

For those of you interested in reading some of Anne Frank's first stories and essays, including a version of Cady's Life, see Tales From the Secret Annex (Doubleday, 1996). Next: Reviewing and revising your writing

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