My Migraine Battle: On The Forefront

That's Such a Cliche

I'm really getting tired of hearing all the cliches that people pass out like tic-tacs, without even thinking about what they're saying or the effect it might have on the person being forced to listen to it. For instance:

"I know there's a reason for everything that happens." No there's not! Why do people say and believe this? I mean, it's so fallacic that I don't even know where to start, but people believe in it like it's a religious tenet.

"There's a silver lining on every raincloud" No there isn't! I for one have never seen silver outlining a cloud.

"There must be a reason for this" No there isn't! And they say this one like it's your fault somehow that you're in the shape you're in. Like, what'd you do, what kind of sin did you commit to deserve this? Hah! Either that, or they say it like someday you're going to find out that you've reached sainthood by suffering in this life. Like God has some hidden purpose for putting you through hell on earth. (By the way, I don't believe that God causes bad things to happen to you. I'm just saying that that's the intention behind this cliche.)

"Things can't get worse than they are now for you" When anyone says this it makes me shudder, because I know that things can get a whole lot worse in the blink of an eye.

"Just think positively" Ok, and then what? I'm going to miraculously get better through the power of positive thinking? Up yours!

"God has a plan for your life and he'll reveal it someday." When? After I'm dead? And how is it that my being in daily torture is in His plan? Pretty sure that his plans don't include this. Hope he has a contingency plan if it does.

"Shit happens!" Now, here's one that I can ascribe to. It's exactly right. There's no divine conception to make my life a living hell. There are no rainbows or pots of gold that I can count on to come to my rescue at the last moment. Things can get worse than they are now and every time my migraines get worse or I get a new symptom, I'm reminded of this fact. And there isn't a reason for everything. Not every question we have is answerable. If it was, we wouldn't need scientists, inventors or philosophers. Sometimes, stuff just happens because it just does. There's no reason for it. And, God does have plans for my life and he's already revealed it in his Word and it states clearly that his plans are for good in my life and not for evil. Those plans clearly do not include wanting me to be in pain nor peril every day of my life. (Still hope He keeps a plan B around, though). It's just that stuff just happens.

So, please, stop handing me these platitudes like they're pain killers, because it's not helping. They don't make sense. They're like Old Wives Tales, passed down from mom's to their children to ease their pains, but that doesn't make them truisms.

And if that's not enough to make you shut-up, I just don't flippin' want to hear it anymore! I honestly have given up looking for reasons, plans, lightning bolts, miracles, etc. It doesn't have to "make sense" to me anymore. And it'll make you nuts to continue trying to find a reason or cause for the problem, look for a quick fix miracle, or try to force some answer to pop out of the blue. If you can just accept the fact that I'm in pain, that there's no cure, that there's nothing you can do other than offer emotional support and true compassion and empathy, that it's no one's fault, just luck o' the draw, then you can have more peace. Then I can have peace, because I won't have to listen to all the pop-psychology-psychobabble-off-the-wall-new-age-illogical-birdbrained-nonsense that you all prattle off so easily without knowing one bit what it's actually like to be in chronic pain.

posted by Jessica @ 11:35 PM