My Migraine Battle: On The Forefront

Knowledge of Peace

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will not fear any evil: for You are with me...

Well, the craziest thing happened to me two days ago. I felt fine in the morning, happy and alert, yada, yada. I took my medicine, the usual amount that I take every day, plus a couple fioricet, because my head was hurting pretty bad. It was an average morning. So, I sat down at the pc after my daughter went to school, to work on a blog (it was going to be a really good one, sorry you guys had to miss it).

Suddenly, I couldn't remember what I wanted to write. It was about half way through the blog. And I started getting really, really sleepy. I felt like I could hardly keep my eyes open. So, I thought, well, I'll use the bathroom and then take a nap on the couch. Must just need some more rest.

I got up from my chair and took a step and my legs turned into jelly and the room swung like a pendulum! I felt like there were waves under my feet and I fell. I tried to get back up and couldn't get my jelly legs to cooperate. I knew then that I was in trouble. So, I grabbed the phone off the desk and threw it on the couch. Then I pulled myself over to the couch and got up on it. I called my doc's office and my speech was really slurred. I told them that I needed to come in and see her. My daughter already had an appointment so I thought I could just go in with her. The nurse probably thought I was hittin' the sauce kinda early in the day, I was slurring my words so badly.

My thought was that I took my meds wrong or they were reacting to each other or something like that. So, I called my m-i-l to see if she would check on me in a couple of hours. All I wanted to do at that point was go to sleep. Well, I could hardly put words together at that point. I knew I was in big trouble. So, I called my hubby's work (it took 3 times to get the phone number right, because I was having a really hard time remembering the numbers). Once I got through this woman answered and I told her to have Stu call me right away when he got back in the office. Told her who I was and all that. I guess she couldn't understand me, because I was slurring so much. Well, she told Stu that some crazy lady called for him while he was gone and she didn't get a name, etc. Oh, boy!

Awhile went by, I don't know how long, so, I pushed redial. Thankfully, he answered. All I could say was, "Help...911...help...OD". He started asking questions and I just said help. I couldn't think or anything. I just needed him to call 911, because I didn't know how to give directions to our house and couldn't remember the address, I was so out of it. Plus, we live out in the sticks, so the directions are like, "you go past this big oak tree and veer toward the left where you'll see a big boulder. Go around that and you'll find this little path and that's when you switch into 4-wheel drive, etc, etc". I have no idea how to give directions even in the city, so I sure as hell can't give directions here! So, I hung up and he called 911. All I wanted to do was go to sleep, so I did.

The paramedics got here about the same time my hubby did. I don't know how long it was, because I was unconscious. I could hear them yelling at me, but I just couldn't wake up. I wanted to, but I was way too tired.

Anyway, they got me down to the hospital and in the ambulance they gave me something and an i/v that seemed to help, because I woke up here and there, but it was a struggle to stay awake. So, this whole time, they're thinking that I o.d.'d and speculating whether or not it was a suicide attempt (NO WAY!).

They did get me to wake up in the hospital. They just kept yelling at me and shaking me, but I really couldn't answer all the questions. It was very frustrating and I started crying. I couldn't move my legs and arms. I just felt so weak and helpless.

I did get better throughout the day and they released me at around 5pm. They have no idea what happened to me. They ran blood work and a cat scan and, at the time, said everything looked normal. My symptoms didn't fit overdosing (thank goodness) or a med reaction--especially since I took only the amounts that I was supposed to take and did nothing different than usual.

I went for a follow up with my doc yesterday and she's completely baffled by my symptoms. I do have some kind of infection in my body, though, because, contrary to what they told us in the hospital, my white blood cell count is really high. There's some other blood test that showed some problem vascularly, too, but it's not conclusive as to what. So, she thinks that it's possible that I had a TIA (guess that's like a mini-stroke or something), but until it's confirmed, they can't treat me. Which is fine with me. I don't want to be treated (translate that "drugs") unless we know why we're doing that. I'd rather have this problem confirmed. The doc at the hospital strongly urged, actually she begged, me to see a neurologist ASAP.

Of course, the problem with that is that no neurologist in the northern state will take state insurance. So, we're back to the problem of trying to get in to a university hospital, which is what we've been trying to do for forever and hasn't exactly been panning out.

I feel alot better today. Just spacey, but everything makes sense and I don't feel the need to sleep all day long, so that's good. My left leg is back to normal and so's my left arm, which were the ones that were giving me the most trouble. I have a bad headache today, bordering on migraine, but I don't want to take my mig meds. I don't know why, I'm just a little freaked out about that right now.

The weird thing is that during all of this, I wasn't scared in the least. I had a little anxiety about what was happening to me, because I didn't understand it. And I was frustrated that I couldn't find the words for things or answer basic questions like, "When's your birthday". Other than that, I had complete peace about the situation and I think it's because I've finally come to a place where when something this out of control happens in my life, I just think, "Oh, well, God will take care of me, I don't need to fret." And that's exactly what I was feeling, even if I couldn't put it into words at the time, that God was in control and I just didn't need to worry. I felt protected. I'm glad I had that experience, not the experience of all the symptoms and what I went through (don't get me wrong, I hated that!), but the experience that I know what peace is.

posted by Jessica @ 10:56 AM