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Friday, April 29, 2005

I'm Tired

I couldn't sleep last night, because my brain kept running on about this lamo visit that I have to make to this new idiot doctor. Ugh! I can't believe I already spent an entire night on this guy. I should charge him for invading my mind and life. Grrr!

You know, I get sick, sometimes, of people trying to cure my migs. They're an incurable disease. But, they still try with all kinds of drugs, helpful suggestions, tests, blood tests, blah, blah, blah, and the list goes on. Family members and their friends constantly send newspaper and magazine clippings to me about how to get rid of migs with all the latest gadgets, supplements, homeopathy, mind over matter, and other bullshit. I just want to yell at them and tell them to stop sending that shit to me! But, that wouldn't be showing them love. After all, they're only trying to be compassionate and helpful. So, instead, I thank them and toss the garbage in, well, the garbage.

I'm tired of waking up with headaches, migraines and nausea. I'm tired of staying home all the time, pent up in this bitty trailer, it's depressing. I'm tired of going to the docs office for drug treatment just to get a break from the intensity of the pain. I'm tired of taking so many medications and trying to remember which ones to take, when and how to take them. I'm tired of being constantly nauseous. I'm tired of feeling kind of confused. I'm tired of being off balance. I'm tired of my left side feeling weak. I'm tired of the lightning bolts flickering across my vision and the blackness covering it. I'm tired of the weird tone in my ear. I'm sick and tired of this whole damn mess. I'm tired of migs waking me up. I'm tired of sitting in a dark room. I'm tired of not being able to exert myself at all. I'm tired of not being able to bend over. I'm tired of being in pain. And I'm tired of thinking about it, living it, hearing about it and dealing with it. I'm just plain sick and tired.

The one blessing is that my period has been getting shorter and shorter lately. This month it was only 2 days long. Yay! Wonder if I'm going through menopause, but I think it's too early and I'm too young for that. Only 33, well, ok, 34. Ok, now I sound like Pollyanna, finding the silver lining on every cloud. Ugh! Can't stand those kinds of people when I'm sick. Well, trust me, I'm not feeling perky right now.

Oh, yeah, and I'm tired of the cavity I have in my tooth and the fact that when I get it worked on on Tuesday, I am sure to get a mother of a mig and end up in the hospital or if I get some mercy from heaven, passed out in the dentists chair. Not looking forward to the drilling. Grrr! So frustrated and annoyed today.

8 Comments:

At 2:36 PM, Blogger Eric said...

I've suffered with eye strain that leads to the same symptons you've described. Therapy has helped more than medicine.

 
At 1:34 AM, Blogger Jessica said...

Eric,

Thanks for your comment. It was very considerate of you to post. I wish my migraines were from eye strain. It would be so great to be able to take care of it with therapy or something simple like that. Boy, I wish that would do it for me. I'm so glad that it worked for you, though. Hope you're out of pain now and forever.

Jess

 
At 2:59 AM, Blogger Moogle said...

Jess,

Well, I'm finally back again. I've missed you.

I am so sorry to hear about you loosing your wonderful grandmother! Also, these new symptoms are concerning.

I will be praying for you.

Hugs,
Tracy

 
At 3:16 PM, Blogger Jessica said...

Thanks, Moogle! I've missed you a whole bunch! How'd the move go. Oh, wait, I'll go post on your blog. lol

 
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