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Saturday, February 11, 2006

Patience for the Impatient Patient

Well, I found out yesterday that my appointment with the surgeon is going to be just a consultation, not the surgery. After the consult, we'll make an appointment for the surgery. Ugh! Even though I'm dissappointed, I'm kind of relieved, because, as you've probably guessed if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, I'm the kind of person who likes to know as much as I can about something before I get into it. So, even though I'm impatient to see what the results will be like, I'm fine with not rushing blindly into an alteration like this. I just hope I won't have to wait for months before I can get the surgery.

On a more positive note. I've completed the first chapter of my novel. I haven't titled it yet, so for now, I'm going to call it my WIP, (Work In Progress). I am supremely happy with it. It's really hard work, challenges my mind and is frustrating as hell in some ways, but I read it aloud to myself last night, and my husband heard me read a portion of it, too, and I was pretty pleased with the end result, aside from some gramtical cleanup and a couple minor flaws. Hubby said that the portion I read ot him was "hot!". His words. I felt like I'd knocked one outta the park, when he said that. :-) And, he doesn't lie to me when it comes to my writing. There have been times when he's been brutally honest with an emphasis on the brutal and I've wanted to divorce him for a moment, because of what he's said, but when I've thought over his criticism, I've realized that he was right and he keeps me honest as a writer and keeps me from being lazy. Of course, I don't and won't read everything I write to him. He's not that interested in the same subjects as I am about what I write, but the fact that he respects what I do and will be truthful in his critique of it, means alot to me. So, I guess I'll keep him around awhile longer. lol

The higher dose of medication in duragesic patch seems to be working really well. My pain level has gone down dramatically this week, since Tuesday, and I've only used the dilauded once this week. That's nothing short of a miracle. I'm going to try to move around more next week and see how it holds up under that kind of pressure. It would be so wonderful if this meant that I could do a few things around here, like cleaning and even just taking a walk would be a big victory for me.

I don't dare let myself think that I may not be in pain at all after I have this surgery done, because I really couldn't bear the let-down if I was still in alot of pain, but occasionally, in spite of myself, I catch myself thinking, I wonder if I'd be able to go back to work and what kind of work would I do? I certainly can't do the same work that I did before, at least not at first. But, see? This is dangerous, so I need to let my communist militia out of the pen and go around cleaning up these insurgent thoughts in my brain.

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