My Migraine Battle: On The Forefront

OH MY GOD!!!

I just can't believe I'm hearing this from my own husband! He's been going through all of this shit with me for two damn years and now I'm hearing this! It's unbelievable. The other night he said he thought that my body just wanted drugs. He doesn't think I'm doing it on purpose, but that it's a subconscious thing because of everything I've been through in my life. He thinks the major reason why I have the migraines is because of all the abuse I had when I was younger and because I have PTSS (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome/Disorder, whatever). I said that I've had that my whole life and I never had migraines before my accident! What the hell? Then he told me that alot of health problems could just be overcome mentally by "talking to the migraines" or "positive thinking". I just couldn't believe that I was hearing this from him.

I'm so furious, I'm thinking about moving out for awhile. I just can't believe I'm hearing this from him. So, I talked to him about how that made me feel when he said that. I mean, it's NOT something that I can control and by saying that I could overcome it if I wanted to is ridiculous. It's not right. But, stubbornly, he stuck to what he said.

I am so hurt right now. He will never understand completely the damage this has caused to our relationship. If there was one person that I needed in my corner, it's my husband. Why is he doing this now?

Then he said that it's obvious that my body wants narcotics all the time, because we've tried most of the migraine meds, that I can take, on the market and none of the ones I've tried have worked. Well, excuse me, but I have other health problems that keep me from being able to try every single one of the migraine meds.

Then he gives me the card of this woman he met who said that she used to have migraines everyday until she went to some conference and learned to talk to her migraines and they immediately went away. What a crock of bull shit! I am so furious with him right now. And, I think I've fallen out of being in-love with him, because of this. I love him and care about what happens to him, but this was it. I've absolutely had it. I would leave right now, if I could, but he is a good dad to my daughter, so that's basically out of the question. I might go stay at my mom's for a week though. I need some space from him. I never thought I'd hear these words come from his mouth.

posted by Jessica @ 1:31 PM