Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Morning Raunchies

I know I promised that I'd be back yesterday, but my head and body have been completely rebelling against my extra holiday activities this year. I have been in so much pain, it's almost unreal sometimes, except for the fact that, I've actually been in this much pain and more before. One good thing about having been in alot of pain before is that when you're in a great deal of pain, you can tell yourself, "I've been here before and I survived it, so this too will pass." This too shall pass.

I had a really difficult early afternoon today, though. The tough thing about this is that it just hits you, "BAM!!" like that! There's no long build up, or warning, it just hits.

It all started when I went to the bathroom. You know how much fun that's been lately, right?! (I blogged about it before.) So, I have to go and I started crying and it hurt so bad. But, I did finally get rid of what I was supposed to get rid of. Then, I bled. It seemed like alot. Like, I'm toward the tail end of my period, but where I was bleeding from was a totally different place. My tp was soaked in bright red blood. Then, the water in the bowl turned bright red. That would scare a lesser man than I, but I am not a man, therefore, I was not very alarmed. I think I was just really angry. I'm really mad that for my head to feel better, I have to have hemheroids. For me to have just the tiniest bit of comfort, and it's not alot, because I still am not nearly up to the point of normalcy in my lifestyle- Not even! -I have to deal with severe constipation, bleeding from the butt, and intestinal pain. I already have IBS with constipation, so this has just made things that much worse. I honestly didn't think things could be worse than the way they already were with my IBS, but I'm now living proof that they can be.

So, I get through all of that and it's like my whole body decides to freak out. I started getting hot and getting the sweats, so I turned the heat down. That rarely happens,b ecause of the Reynaud's. I can't tolerate the cold at all. I can literally get frostbite just from sitting in a chilly room. Seriously. So, I turned down the heat and then I got the shakes and got super cold, so I got under my electric throw, a wool afghan and some other blankets, but got too hot, so I threw the blankets off and just ketp the afghan and the electric throw on.

Now, I'm curled up in a fetal position on the couch, shivering, with intestinal cramps and the nausea just rolls over me like a wave. I felt like throwing up and then I got stomach cramps and my head started hurting. And I thought, Gosh, if anyone saw me right now, like if I was on tv, they'd laugh, because no one would believe that this is my real life. And, now, I've got a reprieve and all the symptoms are abated, for now.

This totally bites. So, was it worth going to my mom's and being with my brothers for a little family Christmas party and dealing with the noise of little kids and noisy men? Was it worth being present with my own li'l fam to open presents and enjoy watching my daughter's face light up over her gifts? It seems very strange to me that I'd say, yes, I'd do the same thing again, even though it means that I'll be paying for it with my life over the next couple of weeks, literally. It seems strange that anyone would make that exchange. But, I'd be in pain whether I did that stuff or not. Maybe the pain would not be as acute as it is right now, but I'd still be in pain, because that's how I am all the time, anyway. This way, I at least have some nice memories and got to have some fun, which is sorely lacking in my life right now.

I hope your Christmas was good, too. I hope that whatever pain you may be in right now, was well-earned by having a fun and merry holiday get together with loved ones, be they family or friends.


At 1:50 PM, Blogger Angel said...

Oh goodness, I'm sorry :(

I have "the other" IBS and probiotics work for me (plus food enzymes) but I don't know if that would help or make yours worse.

I hope you're feeling better by now!

At 10:03 PM, Anonymous Eleanor said...

Oh man, that sounds SO AWFUL. I'm so glad things are better for you now.

It's hard to know sometimes whether to participate in things like family Christmases. It can be so full-on, I usually pay for it afterwards too. But if I opt out, I am still in some pain and I feel worse mentally, because I feel so bummed about missing out. Sometimes I go into a negative spiral about how my life is so unfair. I come back from it when I get things back in perspective, and see all the blessings around me and ways in which I am lucky.

Sometimes I guess you just have to keep going out there and living, and manage the fall-out as best you can.

At 1:02 AM, Anonymous irritable bowel syndrome natural treatment said...

Hey, you sure got a super blog here. Very interesting stuff. I've already put a book mark on it.

Pity I spend so much time blog-surfing that I often neglect my own. Silly me. :) But its so adictive.

Anyway, a lot of people are trying to make cash online nowadays, so I thought I'd help you out with a site that has some great tools.

irritable bowel syndrome natural treatment
Not bad to sit around doing nothing while your bank balance keeps growing. :)

At 11:52 PM, Anonymous irritable bowel syndrome said...

My site is in a similar niche and some might find it as useful. I have a irritable bowel syndrome related site focusing on irritable bowel syndrome related topics.
Not what I was searching for, but none the less an interesting blog here. Thanks for putting it up. I've enjoyed reading alot of the text here. I got you bookmarked for the future, I'll be back.

At 6:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...
Many it is certainly plausible fall in love with the feeling relating to having clean and moist skin. They frequently find they are able to learn more about be capable of getting this feeling for those times when they continue using a natural face scrub The different ingredients that can be used all around the some washes are natural. The natural ingredients don't leave their skin feeling not properly hydrated

At 8:12 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

chanel handbags, gucci handbags, tiffany jewelry, jordan shoes, polo ralph lauren, christian louboutin shoes, christian louboutin outlet, oakley sunglasses, kate spade handbags, oakley vault, prada outlet, nike free, louis vuitton outlet, coach purses, coach outlet, kate spade outlet online, louboutin shoes, coach outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, coach outlet store online, nike shoes, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, longchamp handbags, michael kors outlet online, michael kors outlet store, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton outlet online, tiffany and co jewelry, burberry outlet online, nike air max, prada handbags, louis vuitton handbags, michael kors outlet online, longchamp outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet online, tory burch outlet, burberry outlet online, red bottom shoes, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet, ray ban outlet

At 8:14 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

ray ban pas cher, longchamp, longchamp pas cher, burberry pas cher, nike roshe run, sac louis vuitton, tn pas cher, hollister, nike free pas cher, sac michael kors, coach purses, michael kors uk, oakley pas cher, louis vuitton uk, nike air max, sac vanessa bruno, mulberry, nike free, scarpe hogan, true religion, true religion outlet, vans pas cher, north face, true religion outlet, ralph lauren, chaussure louboutin, air jordan, converse pas cher, hermes pas cher, louis vuitton, nike blazer pas cher, lacoste pas cher, louis vuitton pas cher, air max, nike air force, lululemon, guess pas cher, hollister, ralph lauren pas cher, timberland, michael kors canada, ray ban uk, air max pas cher, new balance pas cher, nike air max, north face pas cher

At 8:17 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

asics shoes, rolex watches, ugg outlet, new balance outlet, north face jackets, mac cosmeticas, valentino shoes, jimmy choo shoes, bottega veneta, barbour, nike roshe, birkin bag, p90x workout, nike trainers, celine handbags, roshe run, ferragamo shoes, hollister, beats headphones, nike huarache, reebok shoes, soccer shoes, ugg soldes, instyler ionic styler, insanity workout, north face outlet, marc jacobs outlet, soccer jerseys, uggs on sale, giuseppe zanotti, abercrombie and fitch, longchamp, mcm handbags, vans outlet, ugg, lululemon outlet, nfl jerseys, abercrombie and fitch, wedding dresses, uggs outlet, chi flat iron, mont blanc pens, babyliss pro, ghd, herve leger

At 8:19 PM, Blogger oakleyses said...

timberland shoes, lancel, moncler, air max, hollister canada, moncler, oakley, converse, ugg boots, canada goose, ray ban, canada goose, vans, canada goose uk, baseball bats, juicy couture outlet, moncler, hollister, moncler, converse shoes, toms outlet, uggs canada, moncler, hollister clothing, canada goose outlet, moncler outlet, ugg, supra shoes, montre femme, gucci, replica watches, canada goose outlet, nike air max, karen millen, canada goose, canada goose pas cher, canada goose outlet, iphone 6 case, coach outlet, juicy couture outlet, louis vuitton canada, ralph lauren, wedding dress, moncler, parajumpers outlet, louboutin

At 7:44 PM, Blogger eric yao said...

G Star Oakley Outlet Asics Shoes Bape Hoodie Stone Island Moncler Jackets Stone Island Jacket Calvin Klein Bally Shoes Chicago Bulls Jersey


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home