Sunday, December 11, 2005

Alice, Can We Talk?

"White Rabbit Lyrics
by Jefferson Airplane

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small,
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all.
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall
. "

Ok, so I hope you don't mind, but I've got to talk about these freakin' side effects. The duragesic patch makes me so constipated it seriously isn't funny. I mean, I literally cried today as I sat on my throne. This is so not good. And, worse, (I know, go ahead and give me a smack), I forget sometimes to take all the stool-softening-laxatives/laxativing-laxatives and then I'm in real trouble. This last time, it took seven days, that's a week for anyone who sucks at math, like me. That's not good.

Too graphic? Tough nuts. This is my life and my blog and I'll give whatever details I want. Just be thankful that I don't spill all the beans. (Of course, even if I could, it would take a week, so you're not in any real danger).

So, here's what I currently take for constipation. Let me know if I've missed anything, ok?
  • 1 c. soy milk (chocolate, of course)
  • zelnorm
  • stool softener (safeway brand, believe it or not. It doesn't hurt as bad as the other brands do).
  • miralax (that's the stuff they give you to drink before you go get your colonoscopy)
  • fig newtons

I think that's it. I mean, look at that! The miralax alone would make most people spend the day on the toi. Not Irritable Bowel Me! I think I might be in a little trouble, so tomorrow I call my doc's office...again.

Oh, but here's the funny thing about it. I think I'd be losing alot more weight right now, if it wasn't all jam packed in my intestines. lol And, actually, despite that, I have lost close to 20#'s. More on that, tomorrow. :)


At 6:27 AM, Blogger IdentityMIA said...

Ouch. LOL. I'm sorry. I completely empathize. I have the wonderment of being lactose intolerant, though, so I just drink a glass of milk and bam. LOL.

I haven't completely gotten around to reading your blog yet so, I'm sorry if I'm asking a question that's been answered. But, have you tried the food diet/journal thing? Was speaking with a friend the other day about his migraines, he found out chocolate gave him migraines and is now migraine-free. Also, might find a food that's a "Lactose intolerant" to you. ;)

At 5:35 PM, Blogger postalpal said...

jes, how have the headaches been for you ??, have u read my recent blog? terry

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