Friday, August 19, 2005

Not a Good Head Day

I am in alot of pain today. My migraine is at a 7 right now and on top of that, I have the joy of having an occular migraine in my right eye that has a pain level of 9 and nausea to boot. I can always tell when my migraine is getting bad, because I start thinking about my medications and can't get them out of my head. It is almost like I crave them when the pain level reaches a 6.

Then, I have to make a decision. Do I take the fioricet which is cheap and I can afford to refill, or do I take a shot of my precious Imitrex of which the supply is dwindling fast and which I can not afford to refill at $200 bucks per injection. Obviously, the choice, most of the time is the Fioricet. It is a fairly ineffective medication that only halts the migraine at the pain level it is at when I take it. That means that my pain level, if the medication works, will remain at a 7 for the rest of the day.

Last night the pain level was at an 8 and my limbs and neck started constricting. It was really weird. I took two fioricet and a phenergan and swallowed them down with a wine cooler. I basically had to knock myself out to get out of the pain. This is no way to live.

I am literally counting down the days (20) until I see this new pain management doctor. Although I am cynical that he could help me at all, I still am anticipating going to see him. Who knows, but I might get lucky with this guy. I'm not going to let myself get too hopeful, because I don't want to be disappointed when he says the same ol', same ol'. You know the drill: "Are you a type A personality"; "You're addicted to drugs, etc."; "Just get used to it"; "You don't need an MRI"; "It's all in your head"; "Have you tried (insert drug name); "It's not a real illness, it's just psychosomatic. Lots of women have psychosomatic diseases. (Translation: You're hormonal and/or hysterical.)". Of course, if any one of those sentences is stated, I'll be outta there faster than I can say, "Up yours!".

I have 4 days until my next trigger shot appointment. That helps a little for about 5 days and keeps the pain level at a steady 5 for almost two weeks. I can't wait.


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