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Thursday, January 27, 2005

Loneliness

One of the most difficult things for chronic pain sufferers to deal with is the loneliness that comes along with it. When I first started getting the migraines my friends were pretty sympathetic. But, as I got progressively worse and could not go on lunch dates and lost my job, my friends and I just started drifting apart until suddenly I had no friends. I couldn't go out to the parties, the end of the week chat fest at the restaurant or bar. I couldn't go to lunch or birthday parties. And then, I couldn't afford to buy gifts or go on shopping sprees, either. And my friends were too busy working and caring for their families or their own problems to come visit. So, now, I'm friendless.

I'm married to a wonderful guy and have family, but it's not the same as having friends. I mean, who do you complain about or brag about your husband to? lol Who do you complain or brag about your mom-in-law to? lol Who do you give advice and listen empathetically to? Who do you have to rely on? There's no one to share the burden with, so you end up relying completely on your spouse or loved ones and wear them out.

You feel uneeded and no longer useful to the world. You're not contributing and can't have the love you're used to. So, the loneliness envelopes you, engulfs you. I think it's a major contributing factor to why a large percentage of migraneurs kill themselves. Loneliness is one of the worst feelings in the world. It makes you feel forgotten and invisible. I think this is the main reason chronic pain sufferers get depressed.

I've recently begun replacing that void with cyber pals. It's a little surreal, because you never actually meet them, but it helps dispel the loneliness.


7 Comments:

At 11:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I definitely know how this feels. It sucks. I feel completely lonely most of the time. My best friend is my migraine.

 
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